-----Original Message-----
From:   Richard Y.C. Lee
Sent:   Monday, April 05, 1999 7:20 AM
Subject:        those stubborn little priorities

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/*      WARNING - THIS IS A PERSONAL MESSAGE            */
/*      WARNING - THIS MESSAGE IS DEPRESSING AS HELL    */
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My dad died in Hawaii on Sunday night around 10pm.

He was recovering from a pretty large stroke three weeks ago that had
initially left him paralyzed on his right side.  He couldn't speak, his
vision was impaired, and he was pretty unaware of his surroundings.  From
that he had pulled it together such that he could move around by himself,
could communicate through a few words and gestures to get his point across,
and was leaving rehabilitation to return home.

Everyone in my family knew that his passing was in the near future. The
doctors were pretty up front about that.  He had had three strokes in the
past half-year before this, and we knew something like this was on the
horizon ever since he had his heart attack ten years ago.  Funny thing,
turns out that being prepared for the worst is no preparation at all.

One good thing is that he knew that he was going to be a grandfather - Karen
and I found out we're expecting in November of this year, and I showed him
the sonogram while I was in Hawaii.  I do regret that my child will never
know him, but I know he was happy about the news.

I always figured that it's a miracle that anyone is alive, and has
consciousness, and free will;  just the idea of life is incredible.  I never
forgot that - I always tell people that a wasted day is a crime against
nature, because you never get that day back.  You can always have more
accomplishments, or more money, or more notoriety, or whatever - but you can
never get more time.  You get what you get.  And I'm glad that my dad had
his time, and that I got to share that with him.

I don't know what the point is, I never have.  I don't know if there's a
bigger picture.  I hope my dad is at peace, and I'm glad that I got the
chance to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me while I
had the chance. 

I know now that wishing you had more time is a wasted wish, it misses the
point.  "More time" is right now, and it's all there is.

I hope you and your loved ones are well.

 

thanks
-r